Monday, June 7, 2010

6 Cavities Later

I hate dentist appointments. As I have teeth genetically predispositioned to fail, you can only imagine how I felt when my mother told me she made an appointment for me. Not only did I have to go to a dentist appointment, but I also had to do it the day before I left for Africa.
Additionally, today I have to decide which assistantship to take. For those of you especially close to me, you know how difficult this has been. With phone conversations starting with, “I am going to now take advantage of our friendship,” followed by, “try to be as subjective as possible,” I have exhausted my resources. Even after all that help I am still here, with 19 minutes before it is no longer Monday morning in California, not knowing which job to take.
Here’s the problem. I think I know which job I really want. But it’s not the one that would lead into a natural succession of RD opportunities. It’s not the one that I would be confident stepping into. No…the job I think I really want is the one that would be hard for me to adjust to. I would often have to be someone I am normally not—I would be forced to be brave (insert dramatic music).
So what do I do? After forcing my friends to tell me which job I should choose, I still have little direction. Four of the five pointed me towards the one I’d be more relaxed with, telling me things like…”you have so much experience with this”, “this job would be so helpful to you as an RD…the experience will carry over”. 
I still don’t know. With 13 minutes to decide I am feeling a bit helpless. Why? Because I think that there is a right answer and I must find it. In all reality though, why don’t I just flip a coin…if I really don’t care. Ahh. But I do care—obviously this wouldn’t be so hard if I didn’t think it was such a big deal. So why can’t I figure out what I should do? If I have an opinion, shouldn’t I be entitled to knowing what that is? Apparently that’s not how things work.
10 minutes. So do I choose the job that I would be naturally good at? Or do I pick the one that’s a little more chancy?
I decided to pick option number easy. Of course that's not to say it will be an easy-breezy, beautiful, covergirl, year...but I think I won't have to adjust my natural way of communicating as much as I would have if option B would have been chosen.
Cop-out? Perhaps. But I am confident that learning will take place- just in a different form than the other option would have offered. Besides, doesn't the popular vote always win?

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