The last couple of months I have been bombarded by an impossibly difficult question to answer. What is the point of life? Yes, our small and seemingly insignificant lives. I would like to know why we are here. What role does each individual play on this earth.
I ask because I care. I have a strong desire to know what I am doing here. Am I supposed to be in the field I have chosen? Or am I better suited somewhere else. Or does it even matter? I am curious to know if we have a destiny or if our lives are made from the choices we choose. I know, I know...the latter is the correct answer.
But back to the original question. What's the point? Am I supposed to believe that my life will make a difference? I suppose I am...but what if I choose a nondescript life of comfort? What if I decide to move to a place and just live? Sure, my life will impact those I choose to associate with...
I guess what I am truly struggling with is how uncomfortable am I supposed to make myself for the greater good. Is it wrong to want to be comfortable? Should I pride myself in doing something I believe in, even if I would rather do something just a bit easier...a bit more, selfish?
I always said that I wanted to live a life of learning. I always dreamed of finding my passion. Now though, I just want to be with my friends. I yearn for an average life taken up by a stagnate job and a never-changing ritual.
I wish I could finish this post like this:
"Then I remember. I remember the people I struggled to get to know and the joy that came with that challenge. I remember the love I have for college students and residence life. I love what I am working towards because I believe in it."
But honestly, I would rather not. Sure, I wrote that and it is true. But my current thoughts override what I am not strong enough to say.