Ouch, My Heart Hurts

For those of you who have followed my blog from the beginning, you may remember me posting about my difficulty with making the decision for my first year assistantship. The last couple of weeks have been difficult and full of a lot of event planning, paper writing, interviews, and decision expectations. So far I have handled all of these things well...but the last has been a struggle.
At first I was open to a lot of different options and was going to apply and interview at a variety of places. After much thought, though, I decided to narrow my options down to two great opportunities.
The first option is to stay at the Women's Resource Center for another year. Reasons why this would be great are:
-Great office. I love the people here and as many of you know I place a lot of value on my relationships.
-Working under the associate dean who is a great example of an intentional administrator
-Judicial affairs experience: Shino (my boss) is willing to take me into this process with her
-Development of the program. I have so many ideas for changes that can be implemented if I stay
-Opportunities across campus: since I am now familiar w/ APU's campus, I feel I can better foster and create opportunities for collaboration
-Autonomy...Shino has granted this to me already and I know next year I would have a lot of freedom in my job
-Great interns. I was able to interview all of the undergraduate interns for next year and the two selected are fantastic and I would love to work and learn with them
-Personal development from working in the same position for more than one year
My second option is equally great. I would be a sort of ARD at Cal Poly Pomona in the village apartments. Reasons this is a wonderful job for me:
-I would be working in residence life which I dearly love
-Experience for the future
-I would get experience in a variety of ways: crisis management, judicials, supervision, training
-The program there is very well laid out and I am confident that I would grow professionally
-I also think they do a great job of pushing their interns in a personal way
-Again, the experience I would gain in this year would be SO growing...and also fun.
As you can read, this is a very difficult decision. What makes it worse? They are on separate time lines. This morning I had my second and last interview at Cal Poly but on-campus offers for APU were allowed to go out last Monday. Since I don't find out about Cal Poly until next week I am forced to choose one without a guarantee of the other. While today I decided that Cal Poly is my first priority, I also know that if I tell Shino no and don't get Cal Poly I am left without both of my top choices.
So here I am...waiting and relying on the patience and grace of Shino and the speediness of Cal Poly.
By the way...a summer update:
I will drive home in May (date unknown) for a couple of weeks. Hopefully catch NW's graduation and the Tulip Festival:) June 11th I will stand up as Brittany and Mike get married-- so good! A couple of days later I will drive back to CA where I will start my judicial affairs internship at U of CA, Riverside. Mid-July I'll fly home for Jennie and Ben's wedding (another yes please:) and then fly back to CA where I'll finish up my internship between August 15th and September 2nd and start my second year internship August 16th. I'm excited for all the greatness that will occur this summer, but at the same time really quite sad about missing some of my dear dear friends' weddings.
Side note: my friend Stephanie from Michigan, who I met in Uganda, is flying in Saturday for a week...and that makes me happy.